Here is what was going on at 10 weeks....
July 16, Week 10:
We come in all shapes, sizes, colors, ethnic origin, religious and social backgrounds. We are all unique, but all share some common tell tale signs. You would never know just by looking at us on a daily basis. You may not even know on a regular basis if you don’t see a diabetic managing their chronic illness. Some of us have learned an art of hiding it from you and have no desire to share this information with anyone other than close family or who they deem to be important or need to know. Others of us would like to make the world aware of our disease and educate everyone we can. You might get a glimpse of what you might assume to be a cell phone, pager or camera but what is really an insulin pump. You would never give it a second thought, unless you where one of us, because seeing someone like us out in real life is so far and few between.
So what does the body of a diabetic look like?
If you look closely you will see multitudes of very small dots on finger tips and calluses from finger sticks.
I was thinking about it today, how all mamas to be worry, but how much more I have to be concerned over. I was talking to someone the other day who had had a miscarriage and they said that it had never even occurred to them that would even be a possibility for them. Unfortunately that has been one of many fears that I have. I'm not sure how many nightmares I've had about it. As awful as this sounds, part of me would rather that happen than have something be seriously wrong. I know that no one wishes for any kind of issues with their baby, but I feel like I’m praying hourly for our little jalapeno. (That a huge craving, spicy and jalapenos. So I'm nick naming little one jalapeno) It’s been tough for me too because for some reason I’m having real issues with getting my BGs in line. This early on I didn't expect to have an issue. I’m trying so hard and yet…. For example it’s been that I bolus for a meal, my BGs drop before I’m even finished with my meal, they finally get to a safer range maybe an hour or more after I've finished my meal only sometimes after downing a juice. I then wait for a safe BG to show up, once I see a number that I’m more comfortable with I then bolus for the juice or whatever sugary substance I put into my system. Then maybe 2-4 hours after I've eaten, my BGs climb, and climb and climb. Most of the time I still have too much insulin on board to do a correction so it’s either I jump on my stationary bike or do a work out of some sort. That will usually help, but then it still takes some time and eventually correction boluses and then it’s never a smooth landing. It’s usually a crash and the process starts all over again. I’m getting fed up and it’s scary. I worry about what is going on inside of me. I talked to my CDE about this last week. She gave me some assurance and I’m hoping after tomorrow’s ultrasound and seeing the doctor and the tune ups that my CDE added to my pump today, that I’ll feel better about things. When I talked to my CDE last week she said that this early some women do have insulin resistance, not all, but some women do have it before the season of lows start to kick in and hang out between 8-20 weeks. She said that at this point with progesterone production getting kicked into high gear that can be the cause of insulin resistance. I’m thinking that on top of that the reason that I’m bottoming out so soon after taking my meal time insulin is possibly something I read recently. I read that it takes the body longer to metabolize food when pregnant due to how the body is pulling nutrients from the food for the baby. That has me wondering if that is why it's taking longer for my BGs to go high after meals instead of right away and my insulin that I took for the meal is already waning from my system. I've never heard of any of this in any of the books or anything that I've read on Type 1 and pregnancy so I really don't know. I had never hear or read what my CDE told me either so I find that quite odd. I'm definitely bringing all this up at my appointment tomorrow. I'm sitting here, trying not to freak out about how I'm seeing my BGs climb right now and wondering what to do. Am I too high to go work out? This number is ugly and making me mad. I'm trying to trust in the Lord and realize He is in control of this growing little one anyway and He knows what He is doing. I know that this is just the beginning of a new and difficult journey, a journey that I have prayed for so I'm just try to be thankful. Thankful that I haven't had much in the way of morning sickness at all, that my energy has been higher that I would ever expect and that I'm mainly just dealing with cramping, sore chest, craving for spicy food and a few food aversions. Which is also not the best thing, I'm craving all unhealthy awful for me food, like fast food and I gag at my healthy favorites. Cooked greens of any kind, asparagus, brusssle sprouts, spinach, green beans, they all gag me. Avocado is a wild card and I LOVE avocado! Onions are a huge no no and eggs for breakfast, can't even think about that.
Over the last several weeks I’ve been struggling with some wonkey blood sugars, they’ve been high overnight and going high an hour to two hours after meals and not coming down in a timely or nice fashion. At least not as I’d like being pregnant and all. I’m 16 weeks into my pregnancy tomorrow and I was sure that I shouldn’t be hitting insulin resistance quite yet, that I should have maybe somewhere around another month or so before that kicks in but with the way my body seems to just not follow text book standards I was starting to think that’s the direction I was heading.
Then last week on Monday I had my every 4 week prenatal appointment with my perinatalogist and I asked him how often a pregnant woman really should be peeing. He said with me being diabetic, having DI and being pregnant that I would be going a lot. I told him that I really didn’t feel that my BGs should be affecting how often I go, which even though I’ve struggled with being higher than I’d like for longer than I’d like at times I only had a few times that I’ve been high enough to make me go so much. There have been a few times that I’ve reach above 200 and stayed there for a while and I think there was a time I reached into the 300’s. That was rough and really scary. I told the doc that some days it seems like I’m going every 30 maybe even 15 minutes! I had no symptoms of a bladder infection but he said he would have a urine culture done anyway. He also discovered after I asked about when a couple of blood tests would be done, that I hadn’t gotten prenatal blood work done and it should have been done at my first appointment. Lovely……….
Friday we were on the road to KC to see family for the weekend and I got a call from one of the nurses. I have to say that I’m thankful that I’m a reader and a researcher and that I asked about the blood tests getting done when I did. I didn’t know my blood type before but I do now! First thing that the nurse brought to my attention and went over with me that we need to monitor is that I am RH negative, Brad is not sure his blood type but we know that both of his parents are positive so at 28 weeks I’ll need to have a shot to make sure that it doesn’t affect anything, which it shouldn’t since it’s my first pregnancy, but to be on the safe side, it’s standard and because it's pretty likely then that baby could be a positive blood type.
This secret is hard to keep. I want to shout it from the mountain tops! “Look what the Lord has done! Look! It happened! Look all my hard work paid off of getting myself ready!!!” When I really let myself go there, and think about it that way I start to tear up and a few times I have cried a little. It’s exciting and happy. I thought I would be a lot more scared of my BGs and what they are doing to things on the inside, but I've felt at peace. I know I've prayed for that, but I never expected to be this peaceful and calm about it. Maybe because my BGs have been absolutely incredibly amazing! That’ s a nice thing, that beautiful BGs happen in the very beginning. I haven’t hit the low all the time faze yet. I know that’s coming in the next few weeks. Now don’t get me wrong, I have had some highs, but thankfully they haven’t lasted long and any that did seem a bit stubborn to come down have happened at home and I’m able to go jump on my stationary bike and ride the sucker down. That did bite me in the butt the other night. I had crept up to 177, had been above 150 for over a couple of hours and I decided to go ride the bike for a few to get things down to a better level. I had insulin on board, but since it hadn’t seemed to be kicking in the way I wanted I decided to try the bike. It worked, but since my CGM has been a fritz case lately and not on target like I would like, it kept telling me all night long that I was in the 60s/50s and I wasn’t. There was one time that I was 60 something but the rest of the time when I did a finger stick I was in the 80’s and 90’s. Ugh! At least I got myself down. July 1st at 9am cannot come fast enough! I want to see the ultrasound pictures of our baby and hear the heartbeat! Come on July first and just get here!
It truly has been a crazy busy summer, this isn't the reason why I haven't been writing but I guess you could say that this is one of the reasons why. I'll be 15 weeks tomorrow which also is my Diaverssary of 6 years. I had thought about waiting a bit longer before announcing the coming of Baby Panke on my blog but as I was lying awake at about 3am this morning I started thinking about my 6 years with diabetes and the pregnancy and I think I have a blog post brewing in my mind that I may combined the 2 topics tomorrow.